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‘The Bachelorette’s Sam M. Admits It Was ‘Not Easy’ to Watch His Elimination

The Bachelorette‘s Sam McKinney is speaking out after his elimination

After Jenn Tran sent Sam packing ahead of Hometowns, Sam posted a video to Instagram Monday night explaining how it was “not easy” to see himself get the boot following his hard-to-watch conversations with Jenn.

“My time on The Bachelorette is over. I really want to take this time to say thank you,” Sam said in the video. “I want to start at the top with Jenn for showing me that I was capable of loving again. After my past that’s something that I’m extremely grateful for. I wish I was able to truly show how I felt in that moment right there, but that love that I carry is visceral, it’s instinctive and it’s beyond description.”

He continued, “It just didn’t work in that setting and that’s OK. I really want to say thank you to my castmates. I made friends that I will hold on to forever. And for the fans that have still supported me through all of this, thank you. That was not easy watching so y’all’s kindness has gone so much farther than what you know for me and for my family. And to my family, I love you guys. Thank you.”

In his caption, Sam said that although the elimination was “tough” to watch, he is thankful for Jenn’s “fearlessness” and for her helping him to “open up” after his past in which he was cheated on. He added, “It’s something that gives me hope for the future.”

“I’m not perfect. And I don’t claim to be,” his caption continued. “But I do know where my heart is and the love I have inside of me. And I’m looking forward to the day I get to share that with someone.”

In Monday’s episode, Sam went on a group date in which he was presented with a series of rapid fire questions on a radio show. Instead of impressing Jenn, Sam seemed to have all the wrong answers. Things only got more awkward when guest stars Jason and Molly Mesnick decided that, out of all the men present, it was Sam that Jenn needed more get-to-know-you time with. But their solo time only left Jenn more “confused” by Sam’s answers.

Jenn began her questioning by asking Sam what his first impression of her was and how that’s changed over the weeks. Instead of answering the question, he babbled about his time on the show. It only got worse when he admitted that Jenn wasn’t his type, and stated that he thought that the Bachelorette was going to be either Daisy Kent or Maria Georgas. Sam kept digging a deeper hole by saying that Jenn’s “stunning” looks will fade and focusing on their “hot” physical connection

During the nighttime portion of their date, Jenn questioned Sam again when they had one-on-one time. But Sam didn’t redeem himself, again speaking nonsensically before telling Jenn, “I love you.” Sam couldn’t put his feelings into words, so Jenn didn’t believe he was being authentic and grew frustrated by his responses.

Jenn gave Sam a third chance to open up to her before the rose ceremony when she went into his hotel room for a chat. During their conversation, Sam apologized for their date and stood by his decision to say “I love you.” But because he continued to focus on himself and failed to explain the specific things he appreciated about Jenn, she sent him home.

Throughout this season of The Bachelorette, Sam’s parents, Susan and Jeff McKinney, have reportedly defended him on social media from online hate and claimed that production gave him a “villain edit.” In recent weeks, the fandom’s favorite spoiler Reality Steve and Jenn have both discussed Sam’s family’s comments.

“Listen nobody can put words in your mouth,” Jenn said on the Love To See It podcast. “You are the person that is saying those things and so what I will say is that sometimes you just got to take responsibility for the things that are coming out of your mouth.”

Only time will tell if Jenn’s First Impression Rose winner decides to attend The Bachelorette: Men Tell All episode and brave the hot seat before Bachelor Nation.

Spencer Conley and Grant Ellis were also sent home before Hometowns, but while Spencer was left calling his mom, Ellis was named The Bachelor‘s leading man for season 29. Season 29 of The Bachelor, which will air next year, will follow Joey Graziadei‘s turn on the show. The tennis pro ended his season engaged to Kelsey Anderson, and the duo is currently in the process of planning their wedding.

First up in the franchise, though, is the inaugural season of The Golden Bachelorette. Joan Vassos, Gerry Turner‘s self-eliminated ex, will begin her journey for love Sept. 18 on ABC. The 24 gentlemen vying for her heart were revealed on Monday and even includes Kelsey’s dad.

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