Renee Graziano is reflecting on the “dark world” of addiction that she was able to overcome.
The 56-year-old Mob Wives alum — who is now sober — appeared on the latest episode of PageSix’s Virtual Reali-Tea podcast and spoke about the reality of her past substance abuse.
“Addiction is a dark world. I was never addicted to drugs. I was addicted to power, I was addicted to men, I was addicted to my world, my lifestyle,” she explained. “Drugs were my comfort. That was what kept me [going].”
Graziano said that drugs were the “solution” to her problems, including coping with the death of her father Anthony Graziano — former consigliere of the Bonanno family — and the end of her marriage to Hector Pagan Jr.
“In some strange way … I think sometimes self-medicating kept me alive,” she admitted. “Because I think if I would have really had to live through it without medicating I might not have made it. And that’s the truth and I don’t even like to talk that way but that’s the truth.”
“I can’t blame anybody for my addiction,” she said. “I can’t. I’d like to. I think my ex-husband has a hand in it, I think my lifestyle has a hand in it. But ultimately, it is my responsibility to take or not to take something. I’m very clear on that part.”
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In March, Graziano opened up about the near-fatal overdose she had last year, sharing on Bunnie XO’s Dumb Blonde podcast how she was hospitalized after taking drugs laced with fentanyl.
“I just lost my s—, man. September 18, someone gave me a bag of fentanyl,” she recalled, explaining that she was given a bad batch of an unspecified drug she was hoping to get. “I died in a restaurant in Florida. I was dead, intubated for three days. No one in my family came to the hospital and I spent nine days there learning how to walk again.”
“That was it for me,” she said, noting that she doesn’t remember anything from the overdose. “Three days are wiped from my brain. I don’t know what happened at all.”
Graziano said the near-death experience — plus her family not being there — ultimately pushed her to change her life and go to rehab shortly after. “They said I wasn’t gonna make it and my family just couldn’t do it,” she said. “And I don’t blame them. I’ve put them through hell.”
The reality star recently celebrated nine months of sobriety since the life-changing moment.
If you or someone you know is struggling with substance abuse, please contact the SAMHSA helpline at 1-800-662-HELP.