In the same way you can hire a coach to help you with your finances, love life, or career, you can also hire a coach to help you navigate divorce. Not to be confused with a lawyer or therapist, a divorce coach helps you untangle both the emotional and logistical mess that comes from the split.
Whether you have to work through parallel-parenting arrangements or divvy up assets, divorce coaches are all about supporting you through the separation process. Think of them as being like a GPS: their main job is to steer you away from the problems, the stresses, the “who gets the dog?” back and forth.
“Divorce takes a lot out of you,” divorce coach Andrea Hipps says. “Divorce coaching is designed to help you hold on to yourself as you walk through the many steps of breaking and remaking.”
While divorce coaching sounds great in theory, there’s a lot of skepticism around the profession. What kind of qualifications do divorce coaches need? Can just anyone call themself a divorce coach? Are divorce coaches even real? Below, Hipps explains.
Experts Featured in This Article
Andrea Hipps, LBSW, is a divorce coach, author, speaker, and creator of the Divorce Differently with H.E.A.R.T model. She works with clients to create a healthier divorce and life.
What Is a Divorce Coach?
A divorce coach is someone who simply coaches you through the entire divorce process. “We offer targeted and time-limited support designed to help people walk mindfully through the chaos that is divorce,” Hipps says.
As for what the job description looks like: some divorce coaches will help people work through whether a divorce is actually the best option for them, while other coaches will help more with the logistics. They may help you initiate the divorce with your spouse, facilitate the legal processes, communicate with a high-conflict partner on your behalf, and more.
For Hipps, a typical coaching session — which can range from $50 to several hundred dollars per hour, she says — will involve “recapping pressing concerns, exploring options, offering teaching and training, reflecting on what part of the client’s best or emerging self needs to lead going forward, and determining effective actions.”
In her opinion, a great coach will tend to the logistical side of the divorce and the emotional side, but you shouldn’t confuse a divorce coach with a therapist. “Therapy assesses, diagnoses, treats, and prevents disorders; divorce coaching sets goals, creates outcomes, and manages enormous change,” Hipps says.
Are Divorce Coaches a Scam?
Although a divorce coach may sound like a fake profession, people do hire them. Bryan Abasalo recently shared in an Instagram Story that he’s working with a divorce coach while going through his ongoing divorce with “The Bachelorette” star Rachel Lindsay. If that’s not believable enough, one quick Google search will connect you with pages and pages of certified professionals.
The certification process isn’t too extensive, though. According to Hipps, divorce coaches have to complete a “minimum of 40 hours of certification training, adhere to a code of ethics, understand the unauthorized practice of law, participate in continuing education, and are involved with a professional community.” She adds that many divorce coaches also have legal, mediation, or other helping profession backgrounds that can “amplify their practice,” too.
Whether you think divorce coaching is legitimate or not, its ultimate purpose is to serve people going through what could be the toughest time in their life. “Divorce coaching is designed to change the narrative of divorce,” Hipps says. “Despite how often we witness marriages deteriorate, we have yet to instill the kind of meaningful support necessary to navigate this enormous change.” This is where divorce coaching comes in.
While the concept of a divorce coach may still be new, the value of having someone in your corner during a divorce is undeniable. At the most, a divorce coach will guide you when you have no clue where to start. At the least, they’ll help you decide how to split up your collection of houseplants.
Taylor Andrews is a Balance editor at PS who specializes in topics relating to sex, relationships, dating, sexual health, mental health, and more.
